Yesterday in our little home town our high school and local school were under lock down. A person in the high school brought many thing to school that were illegal. After he was arrested with no injuries, many people I’m sure were asking why? Who? and How? The police and news media I’m sure will answer all these questions.

As my kids got in the car, they proceeded to tell me their school was on lock down and the reason they gave me was I’m sure whisper down the lane. So in the car, I explained what had happened to the best of my knowledge and gave my own little debriefing. As a mother of three younger children, I think what is happening in the world? Then I remembered that my husband and I (high school sweethearts) went through the same thing in high school. Evacuations, running, tv news helicopters, and pure panic from our parents. A high schooler had brought  a bomb to school and placed it into a locker. And yes someone was hurt, bad. The problem was bulling and lunch room fighting. http://articles.philly.com/1989-06-07/news/26106036_1_school-locker-bomb-awards-banquet

As you can see from the article above, a model person and he didn’t have anyone to talk to about his situation. I have no idea where or how this person is doing from so long ago but what I remember still sticks in my head. After getting home, my mom sat me down and told me to always come to her no matter how bad it is, that she would always listen.

Striving to make children and young adults feel as safe as Christmas Morning

Yesterday I explained to all three of my children as I have before, that if you have a problem no matter how bad you think it is, talk to mom and dad. If you can’t talk to me or dad, than a priest, deacon, grandmother, pop-pop, go to someone. Our children have to know they are safe, no matter what age. So much trust is broken in this world and so many feel they have to hide their problems. When really when we talk about our problems, God helps us through them. I told my children that we have to lean on God, and by explaining the bad feelings to an adult we can walk through the problems with God together.

I get the perfect world everyone thinks they live in but really are hurting so badly inside. I have done this, and I understand how it may take time to work through problems and obstacles in life, but what I didn’t get until this passed weekend at a retreat was sharing your story helps so many people heal with so many problems. Let your children know they are safe, let them know to always no matter how bad the problem to tell someone, let them know that you to have made many mistakes and this world is not perfect and we all are not perfect. God is perfect. Let your Children know they are safe. Verbal is great but action helps so much, a hug or many, kisses (many), touch, smile, hold hands. Action too maybe to set aside so many activities in the daily schedule and making more time for bike rides, walks, throwing or kicking a ball together. Yes, sometimes slowing down is the best way to maintain a healthy loving, trusting relationship with our children.  No one is perfect, we all just try the best we can. Everyone Struggles.

Signing off,

Dr. Holly Matteo

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